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Looking in the mirror

22/2/2013

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Picture
Family photo of Rita
Generosity. Kindness. An excellent listener. Good with children. These were among the tributes paid to Rita at her memorial service this afternoon, which I conducted at Holy Trinity. She was well into her 80s before I met her: a tiny, frail figure bent almost double. My predecessor's predecessor's predecessor wrote that he remembered her as tall and gracious.  But whilst her physique had changed with age, her astute mind, learning, faith, and character remained.

It's a great tribute to her that although her peer group has largely died out - she was born in 1916 - some 80 or so people gathered to remember her with thanksgiving. She touched other peoples' lives, and those people wanted to pay their respects.

What are the characteristics for which you will, one day, be remembered? What would you like to be remembered for, and by whom? It's a good discipline every so often to reflect upon such matters - not in terms of unattainable dreams or fantasies, but in terms of aspirations which we can strive for. Most virtues require an effort of the will for the first few years or even decades, but eventually the habits are formed and they become part of ourselves (subject, of course, to the times we let ourselves down, which we all experience). The £10 note seems terribly large when we first give one away, especially if we can ill afford to do so. But over time, the habit of generosity grows within us such that we'd rather give than grasp. Going out of our way for someone else feels inconvenient at first, something which merits a reward, but over time that changes: it becomes second nature to be attentive to others. And it's interesting that as we learn our way towards generosity and kindness, we also find ourselves more open and ready to receive what others give and do for us. As my late father used to say, 'It's more blessed to give than to receive - so why deny someone else a blessing?' 

This Lent, look in the mirror at the person you are. Look again to discern the person you'd like to be, the person others will remember. And by prayer and self-discipline gain the bearings, the inspiration and the motivation you need in order to become the person you should be.

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